


Alltid

by Bundel



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: Drama, M/M, Near Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-20
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-09-01 00:36:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8600212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bundel/pseuds/Bundel
Summary: Lalli and Emil are send on a short mission when something goes wrong.





	

Alltid

 

It was not a difficult mission, rather a short path-scouting with a little carrying to do in the end. Even though Lalli tolerated- and in the last weeks even enjoyed -the presence of the swedish boy with the golden hair, he was annoyed by the slow pace he had to accustom to. They reached their destination after an hour of steady walking- a small, broken down shed.The house it had once belonged to was a mere concrete base with rubble and debris spilled all over it.

The swede huffed. "This is all? We came here to maybe get tools out of this...closet just because Sigrun saw it whilst driving by?" Emil let the backpack slump to the ground. Lalli shrugged, slightly amused by the boys bickering. The shed looked like it would be easy enough to pry open, the edges of the door even seemed to be scorched - maybe a long-forgotten attempt to get inside of the small building. 

But something was off. The finn could not place a finger on it, but the absence of the birds chirping made his back crawl with unease. They should get what they came for and leave as quickly as they could.

Emil reached out for the old iron door handle and pressed it down with a creak. "Oh dammit." The door would not budge even a bit, so probably the hinges were coated with rust. Lalli went over to Emil’s bag pack in hope to find something to break the door open, as a loud crack made his head spin around.

Emil had sprung back from the door in shock and probably fell, now trying to shuffle away from the entrance fast. His right hand was hastily undoing the strap that held the rifle on his back in place.  
Wood splintered and flew everywhere as something banged against the door from inside again and again. Before Lalli could fully draw his knife, half of the door sprung out of the hinges, bursting in the middle and leaving the bottom half where it was as a black, bony and pulsating mess of arms and claws swept out of opening.

Lalli lunged forwards, already hearing Emil cursing and seeing the rifle in his hands jolt back with the force of the bullets as he send a row of shots into the dark creature. The latter shrieked as if it´s vocalcords were made of old metal, ripping open a wide mouth with a set of shard-like fangs. But it did not halt. It practically collapsed on Emil, pinning the boy on the floor with it´s weight, two of it´s claws meeting the cleansers right side with a sickening sound.

The finn leapt. He did not aim any more but just struck his dagger somewhere into the leathery backside of the Troll multiple times, dealing as much damage as he possibly could. He was not sure where all the different sounds came from any more. Loud shrieking, panicked wailing, mindless cries and fierce growls hammered against Lallis ear-drums as he send his dagger deep into the neck of the Troll he was practically riding on.

With a twist of the finns knife, the mutated animal swung its heavy body around, off of Emil- and tried to get away from the pain and the blood emitting from its throat. There was just enough time for Lalli to retrieve his blade and jump off, before the Trolls body gave in and crashed onto the ground in a convulsing, bloody mess.

But there was no time to concern himself with the Troll, He knew that. With a dreadful knot in his stomach, Lalli turned to his comrade. Emil had somehow managed to still clutch onto his rifle, now holding it with shock plastered on his face. He was breathing. That was more than Lalli could have hoped for.

He shuffled closer and offered the swede an outstretched hand. Then he saw it. The right side of Emil’s coat was completely red and torn, a big patch of thick fabric was missing. But what was worse, Lalli could see the bloodied ground through the shreds of the coat - a gaping wound that practically slashed a big chunk of flesh away. Emil did´nt even seem to notice, his eyes glassy, but still focused on Lallis hand. "Thank you...also for the Troll." Emil mumbled and grabbed for Lallis hand - missing it by inches. The mages´ insides felt like they might revolt against him. Still Lalli managed to keep an impassive expression.

"Stay." He ordered with the little swedish he knew and only left for mere seconds to retrieve Emil’s bag pack. As Lalli sat down next to him - digging through the bag with swift hands- the swede watched him with slight confusion. He was breathing heavily, but obviously his body was in to much shock to let him feel any pain. Lalli did not exactly know if that was a good thing or terribly bad sign. He did not have a clue how to handle this and the thought of the swede dying here - so suddenly out in the middle of the woods - made the last bit of medical knowledge slip from his fingers. But he could not call Mikkel for help - or anybody else. So he would have to keep calm and pray to his gods for any kind of guidance that he could get. Emil was staring at him, obviously trying to refocus his pupils.

"Look. Me." Lalli demanded and gripped the young mans shoulder hard for his attention. Emil blinked very slowly and nodded. Lalli could have screamed in desperation at this sparse reaction. He pulled a large bandage out from the bag pack, together with a bottle of disinfectant a stash of fabric that was meant to protect the ammunition and explosives from getting wet. This was not about to be very pleasant, so Lalli held up one of the thick, fireproof gloves that always were part of Emil’s gear. His cousin Onni had once done this to Lalli as he came back from scouting with a sharp piece of flint lodged deep in the sole of his foot. "Open." Lalli pressed the glove to Emil’s lips, and as he received no reaction, forced it between the swedes teeth. This seemed to get some of the composure back to Emil’s slacking expression, as he tried to peer down his own body with effort. He groaned as he finally took in the red mess all around him.

Without skipping a beat, the Finn tore back the loose pieces of the coat surrounding the wound, realizing just how big the damage was. The muscles of Emil’s jaw tightened around the glove in his mouth as Lalli tipped the whole bottle of disinfectant over the now balled up fabric he got from the bag pack until it was drenched. Then he wrung it out. By the way Emil’s face was scrunched up it was clear to him that the swede was now feeling the pain washing over him suddenly, making the boy come back to earth and hopefully far away from the drowsiness of his body wanting to give up.  
and Lalli pitied his comrade because it would only get worse now. A weak hand desperately clawed at his arm as Lalli tried to keep Emil in place by holding down his hip. With the other hand he pressed the disinfected fabric into the wound, blood gurgling up from the edges and spilling over his fingers. The cleanser forced his eyelids together and wailed into the glove - his fingers twitched around Lallis arm, gripping at him like some sort of plea. Next was the bandage. It was a terrible procedure, getting the cloth underneath and around Emil’s shuddering midsection, until Lalli was satisfied with the tight result that would hopefully stop the bleeding. Lalli tugged the glove away from Emil’s clenched jaw. "Lalli..." a gasp escaped from Emil’s slightly parted lips, which were coarse from scrubbing against the uneven leather of the gloves. 

This was as far as the mage had thought in the frenzy. Emil was breathing with effort and shuddering - but at least he seemed to be a lot more responsive than before, which was a good sign. Lalli would have to carry him. He knew that. Half an hour of quick walking would be possible. But would the swede have this much time? And if they got any unwanted attention Lalli would not be able to defend himself or Emil. There was no use. Lalli would have to try. He slipped out of his scouting uniforms jacket until the cold air could bit e into the sensitive skin around his neck. It was a mostly awful idea, but Emil needed any bit of protection he could get right now and half an hour of carrying the latter would keep Lalli warm enough, if he just focused on getting back.  
With a lot of nudging and lifting, The mage managed to get his jacket underneath Emil’s back - but after noticing that he would never get the swede to fit into the small piece of clothing, he wrapped it around Emil’s midsection instead. 

Lalli already noticed his sides aching from the frost as he used Emil’s straps- which usually held rifle and ammunition in place - to support the blondes weight on his back. At least Emil’s body against his backside and his legs around his waist would keep Lalli a little warm. For a second he wondered what to to with the bag pack - filled with all kinds of essential tools and the map - but he decided that getting Emil back safe was the priority now and he could still retrieve the other things  
on his own, later. So with only the rifle left in his hands and a practically dead weight on his back, he set off.

Lalli could hear Emil groan at the movement, but he had to keep a quick pace, no matter what. After all, he was a trained scout, and could run for hours without end if necessary. But scouts never had to carry anything more than a weapon with them, so after only ten minutes of fast strides, Lallis whole body ached so badly that he feared he would collapse if he pushed himself any further. The sweat on his skin cooled down to an icy layer, making his face burn like every muscle in his body.  
Lalli caught himself mumbling prayers Emil had not made a sound for the last minutes and only the soft and horribly weak breathing against his neck reminded Lalli that he had to get back to the tank somehow. He stumbled on, somehow managing to not make too much noise whilst crossing frosty earth and old branches and roots. 

After another five minutes he tripped over a large stone hidden under the wet leaves of the forest ground and just barely caught himself and Emil from crashing onto the floor. His ankle throbbed angrily and Lallis knees wanted to give in so badly, that he had to steady himself on a low growing branch.

He would not make it. He had to go on for at least the same time that had already passed. Of course...he would be at the tank quickly if he left Emil here. He could get help in ten...maybe even five minutes. Lalli shook his head violently. Ten minutes alone in the cold would be all it would take to steal the last bit of life left in the cleanser. And if the cold wouldn´t do it there was always a good chance of more beasts finning their way here.

He couldn´t leave Emil behind. He didn´t know the boy that well but still he was the closest thing to a friend Lalli had ever known. But he couldn´t save him. And for the sake of Tuuri and the crew he had to return, otherwise the small tank would be lost in uncharted regions for the rest of the journey. They all might be lost. Lalli held his head painfully with clenched hands, as if trying to keep his thoughts together. And it seemed to help.

Or course. He survived the last time. He could do it again. And although he felt the awful dread in thought of his luonto once again being ripped from him, at the same time the prospect of being washed over with its immense power made him almost crack a grim smile. 

And so Lalli let the familiar and warm aura that always was swirling in and around him loose. He could feel his surroundings as if he were actually touching the ground, trees, stones, and the snow around him as the bubble of energy expanded and formed into a separate being. As much as Lalli loved seeing the beauty of this energy that was nothing but a powerful feeling inside of him most of the time - He noticed the dark, empty loneliness that it left behind too. A sensation, that made him realize how lucky he and other mages were - being able to bond with a luonto as if it was a life-long friend.

It would be a chore to keep the lynx steady outside of his body for this long, but the sharp but warm set of feline eyes in front of him assured the mage that he could actually get through this. Emil was stirring, probably he unconsciously also noticed the energy - the tingling in the air - everyone did, after all. Just some did not pay it that much attention. A weak mumble at his neck reminded Lalli of what was important right now.

His luonto carried them the rest of the way. Emil probably just felt Lalli speeding up and the warm sensation of feeling oddly at peace. The mage wondered if Emil would remember this when he woke from his drowsy state - Lalli kind of wanted him to. He would be the first non-mage he ever met able to witness an unbound luonto. Even though it had to be pure euphoria running through his veins right now, Lalli also noticed in the back of his mind that the string tieing the lynx to him grew tauter with each second. He could feel his whole body - every muscle he was aware of - tighten up with the fear of separation. A streak of blood worked its way from under his left nostril. Just a little longer...

The area they were passing was so close to the tank, that he could see it in the distance. The small camp. A fire was lit. They had to be nearby. But he still would have to get around the deep valley cutting through the woods like a wound. The adrenalin, which had kept Lalli and Emil alive throughout the way back, now let his pulse hammer against his eardrums. Somewhere, he could make out Emil’s hand twitching and holding onto the fabric of the uniform covering his chest. The finn was afraid. For himself. For his Luonto. For Tuuri. For all the others. And For Emil. His body ached and his mind was racing. And somewhere in-between all of this he made a decision.

He made his lynx turn and aim for the valley.  
They where going at full speed.  
Lalli gripped onto Emil's hand.

And with the promise of getting everybody out of this alive, the shuddering energy around them flared up once more and exploded silently. They flopped onto the ground of the other side of the valley and the last thing Lalli registered before he sunk into unconsciousness was Emil giving his hand a squeeze.

 

The worst part of winter had past as his eyes fluttered and opened. The familiar underside of the bunk above him greeted the finn with its cold metal. His body felt unnaturally light and sensitive, so  
that he wondered for how long exactly he had been out, as a familiar voice next to him ripped him out of his thoughts. "Oh. Oh god. Lalli." The utterly surprised face of Emil loomed over him. He seemed speechless for a while, studying Lallis eyes, as if he were afraid they might fall closed again. Lalli blinked and turned his head to look at Emil better. The latter’s expression was overtaken by a large, excited smile. "You are awake!" Even though that was a typically useless piece of information from the Swede, Lalli was glad that the boy was here. Emil had made it. Lalli shot up with a sudden thought, trying to catch a glimpse of Emil’s side where the terrifying wound had been, just to be pushed back down by a hand on his shoulder. "Please don´t. I have to get Mikkel here! And the others!" before Lalli could object or do anything to stop him, Emil turned around on the floor where he had been sitting and faced the door. "Tuuri! Everyone! He´s awake!" He shouted, turning right back around and pushing Lalli- who had sat up again- down into the pillow a second time. 

The others poured in. Tuuris eyes were puffy and red, but she smiled brightly and wanted to hug Lalli, but was stopped by Mikkel, who quickly pressed a few places on Lallis body and examined his pupils. He gave a curt nod, his usual small grin mixed with an expression of baffled content. Tuuri practically pounced Lalli- telling him how worried she was and how lovely it was to see him and how Onni was devastated that Lalli did not even come to the dreamhaven any more and how happy it would make him to know his cousin was fine after all. Sigrun chimed in and clapped Lalli on the back with a wide grin. She said something about "having the stuff" and "bad guys" and "knocking them dead" but Tuuri translated the quintessence of her talk being: "I am very proud of you". Reynir stood further in the background, but as the flood of words had died down, he quickly barged forward to give Lalli a short hug. Lalli did not like it, but let it happen, being to weak and overwhelmed to dodge the sentiment. Over the whole time he had thrown glances to Emil, who had a mixture of emotions washing over his face, many of which Lalli could not identify. But mostly, he seemed glad - and the best part - very alive.

They all still chattered a bit. Tuuri told him that he had been out for almost a month. That it was difficult to keep him nutritioned with no professional medical equipment, but that Mikkel had done his very best. And that she did not know how to convince Onni that Lalli was alive, because he was not present in the dreamhaven over all the time. She sniffed as she quietly explained how Onni told her it was impossible that a luonto was absent for this long without the mage dying. How he did not believe her and she started to think that Lalli would never wake up. Only after Lalli insisted, she reconstructed the last months. How Mikkel had found them both in critical condition as he saw a light flaring up over the valley and how they constantly moved their camp to avoid attacks without their scout. How they where short of two fighters with also Emil being unable to properly walk for weeks and how even Sigrun did not stop blaming herself for not being able to protect them from their certain demise. Tuuri made a short pause, inhaling deeply. Then, with a smile she told her cousin how the Swede had never left his bedside for anything but the missions he could manage after some time and to wash himself and eat. 

After a few more minutes of general talking and Mikkel awkwardly congratulating Lalli on surviving with a handshake, Tuuri said a few words to Sigrun who then barked them all out of the sleeping quarters and into the back of the tank for some planning. Lalli was exhausted and glad to have some quiet around him, but as he saw Emil staying behind as everyone else left the room, the finn did not mind in the least. The Swede looked at him heavily, as if he was trying to implement more meaning into the next words he said. "Thank you."

He layed his hand onto his side, where under the tight turtle-neck sweater, Lalli could see the outline of a layer of bandages wrapped around his side. Emil spoke quietly and slowly, trying to make sure the finn understood everything. "I don´t know what you did, but without you I would be dead. Mikkel told me. Thank you Lalli." He stared at the other, knotting his eyebrows and pressing his lips together. "And thank you...for coming back." the last words rose in pitch and Emil quickly bowed his head and wiped across his eyes. Lalli looked at the other silently. He rested a hand softly on the top of Emil’s head and patted it searching for a Swedish word in his mind.

"Alltid."

**Author's Note:**

> Alltid is swedish for "always"
> 
> Atleast thats what google translator tells me.  
> Can somebody agree to that? : )
> 
> I was thinking of the time as Lalli woke up from recovering and how beautiful and sad his dream was.  
> He deserves some recognition for his efforts!


End file.
